I’ve been worried about the security, or lack thereof, of stores that sell mattresses. Mattresses are the preferred weapons of mass destruction favored by terrorists; they were used by the 9/11 hijackers to take over the cockpits and crash the jets into the Twin Towers. They were used to mow down soldiers in the Ft. Hood massacre and in the attempted bombing of Times Square.
On top of that, Iran is attempting to build nuclear-powered mattresses and chemical weapon sofas to destroy the world, while Hamas continues to launch pillows into Israel in it’s nearly successful war of extermination against the much weaker Jewish state. It’s only a matter of time before Al-Qaeda develops super kill hydrogen power Tempur-Pedic missiles of Satanic death. We are all doomed.
Sounds dumb, right? The following is even dumber because – unlike the preceding satire – this actually happened:
“Syeeda Hussaini has suffered from neck pain the past few years, to the extent that it’s difficult for her to drive and get a good night’s rest.
So on a recent weekend, she, her husband, and their three kids loaded up the car and drove less than a mile to Mattress Firm. Her husband, Mohammad, encouraged her to lie on different beds to see which one felt best.
She said the store manager approached, but oddly didn’t want to help. He told the family that he wouldn’t sell them a mattress for security reasons, she said.”
For “security reasons?” Are you fucking kidding me? How would refusing to sell a mattress to a Muslim be possibly justified for “security reasons?” Husseini’s face was covered (oh my white Jesus!), which means her shopping expedition was, in fact, a scouting expedition – for the impending Islamo-death terror – that would’ve fooled most sheeple; fortunately, Captain America was there to stop her in her tracks by refusing service. No doubt Bin Laden, Hezbollah and the Muslim Brotherhood got the message. Excellent work – you’re a real man of genius.
This superstar was fired, according to Mattress Firm (yes, that’s the name of the store) and like all winners before him he’s probably blaming the Muslims and the PC culture that supposedly enables the Islamization of society that we’re told is unfolding as we speak, instead of taking responsibility for his own actions. For that manager to do what he did, he probably stalks and is influenced by anti-Muslim websites like Bare Naked Islam to feed his paranoia and racism; I don’t really know for sure. But the masthead of BNI is worth pondering when incidents like this occur (and they’re occurring with greater frequency it seems):
“It isn’t Islamophobia when they really ARE trying to kill you.”
But what if they’re not trying to kill you … which is most of the time? The answer, according to BNI, is – act like a stupid asshole, hate them anyway, and support a business that hires real men of genius.
That’ll learn ’em.